Predictably inconsistent has been the story of my life since I joined the motherhood. It’s been difficult for me to maintain concentration on much and I have been incredibly hard on myself for that.
One thing that has been standard for me in all of this time has been my ability to show up for my kid. So, while, I may not be rocking any kind of desirable career, I have been working full time as a mom/wife/domestic goddess and I feel like I’m doing pretty good at that.
Another thing I have been consistent with is self work. I’m from the generation where you keep that you are working on yourself quiet. Like there’s some kind of shame in taking care of our mental health. I decided, exactly a year ago, to make myself, my health and my heart a priority.
Before Cora was born I had never heard of network marketing. Since she was born I have tried out five different things in an effort to build a business from home so I could quit tending bar. Well, none of them worked. The last one would have but I was prohibited from doing it by someone close to me. So, that leaves me back to where I was before Cora was born. But honestly, I’m only starting to feel like myself since becoming a mom. I gained a bunch of weight, aged 15 years in four and found myself unable to dance or do aeriels anymore. All the parts of me that I knew so well were gone. They had disappeared like a puff of smoke and now I was sitting with this much larger body that couldn’t do tricks and dealing with breakouts, binge eating and a big full bowl of sadness and depression. I tried to get back out occasionally, take a class, feel weird, retreat, repeat.
I have also found myself incredibly impulsive. I started a youtube channel, was contacted by someone from youtube to grow my channel, participated in one group and when my guy wanted to set up our next meeting and implementations to grow my channel, I torched it. I laid in bed with a panic attack and missed my meeting and never followed up nor did he. That’s also about the time I stopped posting, because I just didn’t want to do a family vlog. I hated editing and listening to myself talk for hours. It was also a time when Cora was getting older and demanding more of my time and I felt like being with her was all I was capable of handling at that time. I also tried my hand at blogging. I ended up with so many products to review that I panic attacked again and quit. Plus, I hated to idea of a mommy blog. I just couldn’t write about mommy things forever. She’s a huge part of my life but she isn’t my whole life.
In regards to MLM, I don’t hate it and would never bash it. It has given me stuff to do when I was bored but without the freedom to go out and do what I wanted, which was act. In the past, I could always throw myself back into it. I could go do a play, take a class, audition during the day without worrying about the survival of another human. Now it’s a little trickier, I have to balance hers, mine and Brian’s schedules.
Needless to say, at various times, it’s been more about survival then pursuing the craft of acting. But now, Cora has started pre-school and I have 12 hours a week, during the day, to do things. Like I said, in this past year, I have been doing a ton of personal work. I have learned to set realistic goals and priorities. So, I’m learning consistency. And I would consistently like to put forth some effort into what I came here for and balance that with being a mom, wife and employee outside of the home. With an extra 12 hours I could really do a lot. For me, it’s going to be about getting centered, taking this moment of transition and finding a way to move forward in a positive and productive direction.
I would like to start this blog by showcasing Oklahoma. It’s where I grew up and where a piece of my heart still lives. Oklahoma isn’t what you would think of as a tourist destination necessarily. It’s been termed a flyover state, buckle of the bible belt and the place where the Pioneer Woman dwells. The richness of beauty and the kindness of the people make me proud to say this is where I grew up. Here are three things to do when visiting Oklahoma.
I grew up in a town called Broken Arrow, Oklahoma. To me, that name has a bit of magic to it. Sometimes I long for the sound of the wind that blows with both a force and often a whisper, but it’s always there. At certain times of the year, you can stand outside and feel the temperature drop almost 30 degrees! The warm wind will blow one way and then a cool wind will whip across you in an opposite direction and you know both a cold front came in and a tornado is probably close behind.
I could tell tales of the magic of this land all day, but we are here to discuss fun things to do if you have found yourself in my beautiful home state.
1. The Mercantile in Pawhuska
Ree Drummond is the author of The Pioneer Woman, a blog about life on the Oklahoma frontier. In fact, she has made blogging a career. She has also revived an area of Oklahoma! She has made Pawhuska a tourist destination!!! Okies can get mad at me if you want but when did you visit Pawhuska prior to its revival?
My brother found this carriage. It’s located across the street from the restaurant. I love the way the colors look here. We were here during the fires of April 2018, hence the cool glow effect.
I had the grilled cheese bites and tomato soup.
Cora banged on the keys of an old piano set out on the main street of Pawhuska.
And this was me on a warm Spring day in Pawhuska!
2. The Oklahoma Aquarium in Jenks
I haven’t been in Jenks in over 20 years. It looked like a completely different town. It’s been built up beautifully. I like how it’s been updated to fit the town. It doesn’t look like every other strip mall in America, there is still a sense of local personality and I have found myself missing that through the years. I say this as the strip mall across the street puts in another Stone Fire Grill that looks like every other one of their grills. I mean, I understand branding, it’s just disappointing when it takes away from the personality of the locals.
Being that I live in California, you would probably assume I would think our aquariums are superior. I mean, come on, they are awesome! But this little jewel, located in the middle of the darn plains, is definitely something to brag about. Holy smokes! This place is much bigger than I thought it would be and they have some really cool stuff. Here are a few photos:
There is a glass cave full of sharks!
And also Jellyfish!
3. This one you can see anywhere in the state and it is a sight to behold!
The grand, always beautiful, Oklahoma sunset!